“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the COURAGE to CONTINUE that counts.”- Winston S. Churchill
Each and every one of us experiences a few ”stumbles” in our lives. You know the ones I’m referring to, those seemingly impossible challenges that are thrown our way, the mistakes we make that we learn from (or we don’t) and the decisions we’ve made that haven’t panned out quite the way we thought they would. We’ve all experienced them on some level. Some of us even carry mental scars from the situations that molded us to be more resilient and courageous along the way.
I’m curious, how do you deal with difficult events that change your life? The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a serious illness and other traumatic events are examples of just some of the challenging experiences in life. When these situations arise, there is usually a flood of emotions and a sense of uncertainty that immediately follows.
It is normal to feel fear, doubt, and pain, but this shouldn’t stop you dead in your tracks. A momentary setback perhaps, but never allow these things to grind you to a halt. We are very clever and more than capable of adapting over time to life-changing situations and stressful conditions.
According to John Wooden, “A setback is a setup for a comeback.” The hardships you encounter may discourage you, and sometimes even dishearten you, but don’t let them stop you from your continuing your journey and working towards your destination (whatever that means for you).
When life can be tough, remind yourself that you are equipped to be even tougher. Trust me, life is going to give you plenty of chances to practice resilience. Here are 5 ways to develop your resilience so you’ll be ready when you need your strength the most.
1. Learn From Your Mistakes
As much as possible, have a positive outlook whenever you are facing hardships and focus on what you can learn from your experience. If you’ve made a mistake, don’t waste time making it over and over again. Be honest about why you made the mistake in the first place and learn from it. Don’t hold onto your mistakes just because you spent a lot of time or money making them. Get yourself some tools so you don’t make the same mistake again and so you know how to manage the situation should it ever arise again.
2. Stay Strong
Adopt the attitude of focusing on the possibilities and opportunity still around you, even in the worst of times and especially when you can recognise that fear is holding you back. Practice gratitude. Try to maintain a positive outlook and remind yourself that much of what you are facing right now is just temporary and that you’ve survived setbacks in the past and you can do it again. Even in your toughest situations, try to not only look after yourself but also to care for others, because sometimes being selfless is the best way to discover your own strength.
3. Find Strength In Your Relationships
Maintain strong and supportive relationships, both personally and professionally. Surround yourself with people who will be there for you in times of crisis, who have the ability to laugh with you, cry with you, push you when you need it, hug you when you need it and most importantly who will be honest with you, because you need it.
4. Stand Up
Continue to plan for your future, even when it feels like nothing is working out. Do not let negativity paralyse you. Understand that setbacks and failure are part of your success. Remind yourself that failure isn’t falling down, it’s the refusing or the inability to get back up. So stand up tall. Be tenacious in every tough situation. Believe in yourself and reward yourself for your wins, you deserve it.
5. Find Meaning In What You Are Facing And Keep Growing
Develop your personal “WHY”, it will help you find your sense of purpose which will help you view setbacks from a broader perspective. Making it through the tough times takes resilience. It requires that we pay attention to and acknowledges the complexities of our experiences. It’s important to listen to our emotions, and be willing to learn from heartache, disappointment, and failure as well as success and motivation. Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we just learn to grow, to be tougher and to be more resilient. We learn to be braver and more courageous because life shouldn’t to us, but instead happen with us.
Resilience takes time to build, so don’t get discouraged when you struggle to cope with problematic situations.
Reflecting on my own experiences, situations, and crises I’ve overcome, I can always see my lessons and my mistakes and just how resilient I can be. And just when I think I’ve nailed it and understand what resilience means, boom, out of nowhere, life throws another curve ball and teaches me that I am stronger than I know and more resilient than I could ever imagine (even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time).
As you continue on this wild rollercoaster journey of life, I encourage you to go where the tracks haven’t yet been fully built and use your resilience to make it through the tough times and the challenges and go on to become the successful and awesome person you were born to be.
If I can support you on your rollercoaster or through your challenges in some way, please reach out, I’d love to chat with you.